Oh, I definitely think Jonathan (and Martha) failed to help the situation, but I could always understand to an extent the anxiety about it. For all intents and purposes, in every way that matters, they're Clark's parents. I think a lot of adoptive parents would feel great ambivalence and anxiety if, 15 or 16 years after the fact, their child's biological parent essentially showed up on the doorstep not only wanting to forge a connection, but more or less insisting that they be allowed to do so. It's not particularly a logical or rational reaction to be resistant to that initially, but I do think it's an understandable emotional reaction. So I could sympathize with some of the senior Kents' own resistance to Jor-El's rather heavy-handed attempts to forge a connection to Clark/Kal-El.

Where I think they fell down, though, was failing to overcome their own resistance, anxiety and ambivalence to help Clark determine whether he wanted to make that connection or not. At the end of the day, it should have been about what was best for Clark and since I think knowing and learning about his biological heritage -- in all of its respects, positive and negative -- was a good thing for him (and still is), I can't really countenance the way Jonathan, and to a lesser extent Martha, ultimately prioritized their anxiety and ambivalence ahead of what was best for Clark.