I so heart you.
I've only had the looks-like-a-massager-but-is-really-a-sextoy form of vibrator, but even that is oddly enough.. missing. I wonder if I searched my daughter's room hard enough, if I'd find it. Honestly, she can have it - better that than exploring herself with some creepy boy in the back of a car.

I loved your reviews of the various things to consider before purchasing. I will heed your good advice. ;)