Smallville: Blue

[norwich36]

Okay, there seriously is not enough "What the Fuck" in the WORLD to express my feelings about this episode.

What the fuck?

I guess I'll start with the things I liked, since it's the short list:

--The Grant-is-Julian-Luthor reveal. It can't be true, of course--or if it is true, it involves the most serious retcon this show has ever done--but I can definitely say I NEVER saw that one coming. And I have all sorts of theories, too: he's a clone Lionel made, he's a clone Lex made, he's some random person Lex decided (for reasons of his own) to persuade he was his brother; he's another one of Lionel's illegitimate kids who's not Julian, etc. etc.

--The Lex and Grant pool scene. I don't care if they're "brothers," that was seriously slashy. So where is the dirtywrong Smallville brothercest, people? (And speaking of dirty wrong: if Clark is going to keep embracing Lionel and coming to his rescue, I think we should get the dirtywrong daddycest, too). But to get back to Lex and Grant: hotness. And it really didn't hurt that Lex was warning Grant about Lois at the time. It's also kind of cool that he recognizes how dangerous Lois is.

--The Clark-Lana conversation in the barn. I like that they're not just resetting Lana after last week; that both Clark and Lana are acknowledging she had problems. And I like that Clark told her it was how we come back from mistakes that really matters. (If only he had said this to Lex a time or two!)

Now on to the things I didn't like:

Um, the whole Kryptonian soap opera? I mean, PLEASE. It was bad enough we had one episode of the Zor-El/Jor-El/Lara triangle; this was just adding insult to injury. And God, Zor-El really should have had a mustache to twirl or something. Meanwhile, Clark completely lost all common sense, mainly as a contrivance for the plot, and Kara ends up amnesiac in Detroit. Why?

Why?

Why?

Oh, Smallville. If you really, really wanted to do a Kryptonian love triangle and Clark with adoption issues, you needed to build it up a little more slowly, so the audience would actually CARE. I mean, last week showed what happens when you allow the conflict to develop organically over time, and make the audience care--but trust me, nobody in your audience gave a flying fuck about this particular triangle. And also? Stunt casting doesn't make us care more when the actress who needs to be selling us on the wonderfulness that is Lara seriously sucks.

Oh, but making her the perfect Marysue, who can instinctively sense Lana's inner darkness (WTF), who is completely ineffectual in actually fighting Zor-El but who nevertheless completely fulfills the Marysue role by dying heroically and self-sacrificially to save the world and to save her son? LAME, Smallville writers. VERY VERY LAME.

And: Lois and Grant: yes, you are cute together. But you know what? When Chloe and Lex actually agree on something? Which only tends to happen once a century or so? They're probably right. Just saying. You are both really, really going to regret this relationship.

Definitely the worst episode this season.

Comments

[cinderella81.livejournal.com]

Not my fave either ... and Chloe and Lex are totally right ... the Grant/Lois relationship is not going to work at all ...

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Lara=stupid. I should have cared about Clark's mother, and I'm really pissed that I didn't.

[isilweth.livejournal.com]

I was very upset because I assumed retcon and that's just too much for me to handle. I like your theories on Fake!Julian much better. Also, absolutely, yes, that pool scene was HOT.

[allzugern.livejournal.com]

Wait, wait! Lex is 28? And Julian was conceived when Lex was 11? So Grant is 16?? I knew Lois looked old enough to be his mother! In what universe does this work?

I hope your Fake!Julian theories are true, but just the glaring age discrepancy would be enough for Grant to know it isn't possible. Oh, Smallville. I was really enjoying you this year :-P

[duskwillow.livejournal.com]

Martha > Lara
I am so disappointed with what they did with Lara. Could she have been more boring/lame?

I agree that the Lois/Grant relationship will blow up in their faces. But it's a good thing IMO. It puts Lois in the centre of the biggest story we have - Julian clone (or whatever he is). Lex already recognises she might be a problem. They established she can be blind to something right in front of her nose when it comes to those she likes (Clark. Superman.). And it will make her shy away from office romances when this one ends badly. She already has a bad experience with a guy who runs off and has some lame excuse for it every time. With this, it won't exactly be easy for her and Clark to get together in the future. :)

[latxcvi.livejournal.com]

It's also kind of cool that [Lex] recognizes how dangerous Lois is.

Not just how dangerous she is, but how sexy, too. I might have wibbled a little when he said that because (a) she's totally his type, so I've always found it odd that the show hasn't really played it up that Lex would, um, notice that about her, and (2) Lex/Lois exists in some versions of the uber-canon.

I loved the pool scene in general, too, and I liked the last Lex-Julian scene. My vote right now is for clone that Lex himself made, for the reasons I talked about in my post. If he's a clone, it's not a retcon at all, and if Lex is behind it, it really does, in some ways, make him both darker and more formidable than Lionel.

I hated the rest of the episode, though. Definitely my least-favorite of the season so far. I couldn't stand the Kryptonian love triangle, I couldn't stand Zor-El (I mean, any time I'm not happy that someone sent Lionel through plate glass, you know that someone is doing something wrong), and I think Helen Slater was terrible as Lara. Just terrible. Weak, ineffectual and apparently so dim she never knew she could toss Zor-El through a wall whenever she wanted to. Ugh.

[mahaliem.livejournal.com]

The Lex and Grant pool scene. I don't care if they're "brothers," that was seriously slashy.

It was very, very slashy. Maybe it was supposed to be a 'you're my brother whom I'm obsessed with and am using to further my evil plans vibe'. Or maybe all the Lex/Clark/pooltable fics have affected my brain and now I see Lex, a pool table, and another male and my thoughts just drift that way.

[mailerose.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness, I did not like the Kryptonian soap opera either! The lines were horrendous and the acting was just not good. What a waste of an opportunity, to have Zor-el and Lara.

So where is the dirtywrong Smallville brothercest, people?

Exactly... exactly. C'mon writers!

[bagheera-san.livejournal.com]

It was the worst episode so far, but it still wasn't bad. But I agree very much on Lara's actress (although, *cough* Zor-El kinda amused me in a corny way) and on Grant not actually being Julian. It just doesn't work.

[mskatej.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it sucked. Clark's storyline was boring to the point of embarrassing. I have so little to say about it I'm not even going to write a review this week.

The pool scene was the only scene I actually enjoyed. HUBBA HUBBA. I'm not a fan of incest pairings generally, but I would not object to Lex/Lois/Julian threesome porn, no I would not.

[suex.livejournal.com]

Hee, its funny how fans can react so differently to an episode. I recall you enjoying Fierce (which I loathed). I actually enjoyed this episode, and it was even better on a repeat viewing.

I think I saw the Kryptonian love triangle coming, so I wasnt bothered by it as much as some, but Lara did seem to lack something, and in all honesty, I think it was more scenes with Clark.

I didnt expect her to be all earth motherly, she is Kryptonian after all, but the joy at seeing her son did lack some depth. Was that the fault of the actress or the writing. I'm not really sure. However, I did love that she thought Clark was Jor-el, nice touch and call back to Relic.

The only thing that bothered me about this episode was Clark once again having to be punished for acting on his emotions, which are all a side-effect of him having to deal with Kryptonians being a totally messed up planet of people.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Hee. Your grumps are kind of enjoyable to read. :D It was pretty craptastic. And yeah Grant and Lois will regret this very very much, but I don't mind watching Lois be daft--I'm just looking forward to seeing her grow from the experience.

dirtywrong Smallville brothercest, people?

[ender24]

*mourns* we are sooooooooo loosing on the cesty side!!

is your hand ok or at least less hurty ?