Smallville: Blue

[norwich36]

Okay, there seriously is not enough "What the Fuck" in the WORLD to express my feelings about this episode.

What the fuck?

I guess I'll start with the things I liked, since it's the short list:

--The Grant-is-Julian-Luthor reveal. It can't be true, of course--or if it is true, it involves the most serious retcon this show has ever done--but I can definitely say I NEVER saw that one coming. And I have all sorts of theories, too: he's a clone Lionel made, he's a clone Lex made, he's some random person Lex decided (for reasons of his own) to persuade he was his brother; he's another one of Lionel's illegitimate kids who's not Julian, etc. etc.

--The Lex and Grant pool scene. I don't care if they're "brothers," that was seriously slashy. So where is the dirtywrong Smallville brothercest, people? (And speaking of dirty wrong: if Clark is going to keep embracing Lionel and coming to his rescue, I think we should get the dirtywrong daddycest, too). But to get back to Lex and Grant: hotness. And it really didn't hurt that Lex was warning Grant about Lois at the time. It's also kind of cool that he recognizes how dangerous Lois is.

--The Clark-Lana conversation in the barn. I like that they're not just resetting Lana after last week; that both Clark and Lana are acknowledging she had problems. And I like that Clark told her it was how we come back from mistakes that really matters. (If only he had said this to Lex a time or two!)

Now on to the things I didn't like:

Um, the whole Kryptonian soap opera? I mean, PLEASE. It was bad enough we had one episode of the Zor-El/Jor-El/Lara triangle; this was just adding insult to injury. And God, Zor-El really should have had a mustache to twirl or something. Meanwhile, Clark completely lost all common sense, mainly as a contrivance for the plot, and Kara ends up amnesiac in Detroit. Why?

Why?

Why?

Oh, Smallville. If you really, really wanted to do a Kryptonian love triangle and Clark with adoption issues, you needed to build it up a little more slowly, so the audience would actually CARE. I mean, last week showed what happens when you allow the conflict to develop organically over time, and make the audience care--but trust me, nobody in your audience gave a flying fuck about this particular triangle. And also? Stunt casting doesn't make us care more when the actress who needs to be selling us on the wonderfulness that is Lara seriously sucks.

Oh, but making her the perfect Marysue, who can instinctively sense Lana's inner darkness (WTF), who is completely ineffectual in actually fighting Zor-El but who nevertheless completely fulfills the Marysue role by dying heroically and self-sacrificially to save the world and to save her son? LAME, Smallville writers. VERY VERY LAME.

And: Lois and Grant: yes, you are cute together. But you know what? When Chloe and Lex actually agree on something? Which only tends to happen once a century or so? They're probably right. Just saying. You are both really, really going to regret this relationship.

Definitely the worst episode this season.

Comments

[isilweth.livejournal.com]

I was very upset because I assumed retcon and that's just too much for me to handle. I like your theories on Fake!Julian much better. Also, absolutely, yes, that pool scene was HOT.

[norwich36.livejournal.com]

latxcvi has an idea for how a retcon that wouldn't spoil anything could be possible, but I honestly think it's going to be that Lex cloned Julian. They've already shown him cloning someone he loved, and since the Lana clone plot didn't go anywhere, they must have been doing that for a reason.